the_baffler (the_baffler) wrote in teen_council,


I hate to monopolize the t_c's output, put I had to break the story on the new sensation set to blow up from here to Istanbul (Not Constantinople)... Clerique! For months, we've heard about the scary old Muslim clerics that run the show up in the Irazzy. They sure seem to convey a sense of fanatical, wide-eyed murderous authority, don't they? Want a taste? Sure you do! Everybody wants the juice, baby. Whether it be the power to interpret the Qa'ran in such a way that it now reads, "Kill Whitey", or the courageous initiative to subjugate women to jaw-droppingly low societal standing, you're sassy and independent with Clerique. Here's the essence of the look:

What despot from Qaddafi to El Sadr would be complete without some shades? Gotta protect those peepers for IED-makin'.

Furthermore, old-fashioned buttons are so done. It's time to snap, snap, snap it shut with the Turbanator (patent pending)! (Especially when you have a hook-arm).

Confidence is CRUCIAL! Look at Marah Al-Bajadin Muhammed Al Frajah Dun-Qarrah here - "Hey, there's my motherfucker!"

Don't fret, ladies. Although it's frowned upon for you to make eye contact with a man or address him directly, you can always remind him that dinner's ready with a fun, breathable mouth wrap.

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